The 9
The 9 is one of my new favorite things on the web. Despite the fact that Maria Sandstone is really, really annoying, and sometimes I want to gouge out my eyes and ears when she talks, I like the format, the fact that its only like 2 minutes long, and I like finding rare and interesting things on the web (by rare and interesting I mean processed mass media propaganda).
In honor of The 9, I would like to provide my own 9 today. Not all are web related but since this is my 9, I make the rules, and my 9 don't have to be web-related.
1. This morning I had to turn on the heat in my car for the first time in about 5 months. This is extremely disheartening. Although I fully realize there will be a period of several weeks where I run the heat in the morning and still
need A/C by the afternoon, the shift still has a significant impact on my day.
2. Yesterday I became privy to a little gem of a website,
PopSugar (and by "gem" I mean full of useless and addicting celebrity gossip and photos). Things I love about PopSugar = the name and the fact that it is updated several times daily. Things I hate about PopSugar = the fact that it is absolute crap and I am embarassed to admit that I support such sites by reading their crap. It really has opened up a new world for me...I never knew how much garbage was out there and how much people really read it. I'm sure I will tire of this online celebrity gossip universe within 24 hours (I hope I do) but for today, it interests me.
3. This week I learned some disturbing news about
preservatives. My dear and hilarious friend Kim was joking about how well preserved she is because she drinks so much Diet Coke, and another friend chimed in that she knows a woman whose job is somehow related to crash sites. So I learned that in airline crashes, when they have large numbers of casualties, they honestly and truly find out who is American and they take care of their bodies last...because they rot slower...BECAUSE OF THE PRESERVATIVES!!!!!! Does this disturb anyone but me? I am very curious to know how true this is.
4. My birthday is on Wednesday. I think I will be 25. I don't really feel any different. But I think that being 25 makes me kind of old. A whole quarter of a century....pondering...Nevermind, I just decided its really not significant at all. There is this whole
quarterlife crisis universe out there that is having trouble adjusting to the "real world" but I don't really feel like I'm in crisis at all. I'm pretty sure I've been in this ominous sounding "real world" for the length of my 25 years and I don't really see what all of the fuss is about.
Sidenote: Birthdays are a little anticlimactic for me ever since I was old enough that it became socially unacceptable to have birthday parties where Pin the Tail on the Donkey was the focal point.5. The Cheesecake Factory opened on Tuesday night at 5 pm in Colonie Center. Jenn was there at 3:30 to wait in line. We were seated by 6, and around 9 we shuffled out with bags and bags of grocieries, I mean leftovers. It was an overall glorious experience and I am proud that the Capital Region finally has its own Cheesecake Factory. However, not so glorious was the fact that last night, after an entire days' anticipation over eating my leftover cheesecake when I got home from class, I opened the fridge to find that alas, my cheesecake never made it home. This means either Dave or Steve somehow swiped my Cocoa Mocha something something cheesecake and enjoyed it on my behalf. I guess friendship means nothing when it comes to leftover cheesecake.
6, 7, 8, 9. I got bored so I'm skipping right to 9. And as it turns out, I have nothing left to say for today, August 31st. Except that today is the last day in August, and tomorrow begins September, my favorite month of the year (not just because my birthday is in it!). Yesterday I started school and there were a few leaves on the ground. Nothing like a college campus in the month of September with leaves starting to turn...
Words to Live by
Best Quote of the Week:Jennifer Bartolucci, newly married to Steve Bartolucci, commenting on the stark contrast between how late she and Steve would stay up when they were dating, and how early they go to bed now that they're married:"We get really tired, and when we're sitting on the couch, it's just like 'Why stay up? You'll be there when I wake up' "Worst Quote of the Week:Paris Hilton, on why she doesn’t use her real voice on “The Simple Life”…
"I'm always playing a character," she tells the magazine.
"I don't talk like this really like a baby. I don't act like myself in public, because I don't really want to show everyone the real me. Because I have no privacy whatsoever, the only thing I have is who I really am." Courtesy of the Associated Press
Getting ready for Vertical
Last night was our volunteer meeting for the upcoming kickoff of Vertical (starts September 7th). Vertical is our weekly program for students in grades 6-12. It is the core of our youth ministry, and we haven't met since the end of the school year, so we're getting pumped up for this fall. We had some new faces in our meeting last night which was very cool. Most cool of all, it lent Brian the opportunity to give them a little bit of Vertical history, which for me was a walk down memory lane.
I remember when we started Vertical. To be honest, I can't really remember what we did at first. I do remember that it was originally called Vertical Reality, and on a good night, we had about 50 kids. The majority of them were in 6th-8th grade. We tried splitting Jr and Sr high (numerous times), but believe it or not, we didn't have enough Sr high kids so we had to keep them together. Vertical Reality or "VR" as we called it at the time was pretty much a hangout time with a "band" (I use the term lightly because even though it is much of the same talent we have in our current band, they have upped the ante so much since then, I don't think its right to use the same word for what they were then, and what they are now) and a short message. Same shell, but a totally different VR.
Not to mention that at that point it was on Sunday nights. After much thought I have concluded that this was the stupidest thing we ever did. No offense to Brian or anyone else who made the decision, I supported it at the time too. But we all hated it. No one wants to get revved up again at 4 pm on a Sunday for youth group. No one I know at least. Thank God my husband is a smart and teachable man. Even though we were all kind of afraid to have it on a week night (what if no one came?), he realized it just wasn't working on Sunday nights and we switched to weeknights sometime last year. Very good move. Us leaders had more energy and even though the kids are all involved in like 13 extracurricular activities, it worked for them too.
Aside from VR, our ministry was defined by sporadic small groups which were awesome in some ways and just not hitting the mark in others. Awesome leaders like Rich Straight and Emily Aierstock (I know I'm leaving people out...forgive me!) took time out of their weeks on top of VR and did life together with a group of students.
Aside: I truly believe that efforts like this have contributed to what has now been knit into a strong foundation...a lot of the kids in those jr high groups are very well positioned to be student leaders in this and coming years.Anyways, aside from all that, there were exhausting overnighters, 30 hour famines, gallactic bowling and the like. You know, youth group stuff.
I remember a point last year when Brian and Jeremy pretty much talked exclusively about Vertical. They got so pumped up and one Thursday night (maybe it was a Tuesday?), we were walking out and they stayed in the parking lot talking for what may well have been multiple hours. The next week, kids walked into a completely different Vertical. It was deliberate, it was exciting, it was a place they could belong, it was dynamic. And kids started to bring their friends.
By the end of last year, we had about 150 kids on a given Thursday night, many of whom showed up as soon as we leaders did, and didn't leave until we kicked them out; many of whom were so upset we were closing up shop for the summer. Since then, Brian's taken two small groups of kids to camp. He brought about 20 kids total and brought home 20 leaders. These kids are finally, finally getting it. They are taking ownership, they are spreading the word, and they are excited about THEIR Vertical. And we (leaders) are excited because we can feel what's stirring below the surface. This year is going to be huge. This student ministry is going to have a huge impact on local students.
Last night I was thinking about a lot of lessons learned over these last 3 years:
1.
Trial and Error. Everything you just read about has directly contributed to the position we're in now. At the time, I thought we would never "get it right," whatever "right" is when it comes to working with teenagers. But now as I look back, 3 years really doesn't seem that long. It was so necessary that we do the trial and error thing for a while. Now we have a better idea of what works and what these kids want and need. Even the "successes" we experienced at the end of last year had some lessons learned embedded within them, and we will be implementing changes in response.
2.
Your youth ministry is only as good as your volunteers. Seriously, we have had tons of awesome volunteers over the years. Sometimes you have to motivate them and pull them along. More often, they will motivate you. They do youth ministry because they genuinely want to. They'll spend days at a time with these kids. They'll lose sleep and fast and make phone calls during the week to kids who just want to hear someone's voice on the other end. They are the heartbeat of your ministry. We have an incredible group of volunteers as we enter this fall and I'm excited to see what they'll do.
3. The most important thing I have learned in the last 3 years is that
I'm not really that cool. Let me explain. When we started hanging out with teenagers, I thought I would be at a clear advantage because, you know, I'm young and I'm cool. I can dress like them and talk like them and listen to the same music as them. And that is how you connect with teenagers right? Not really at all. And that is good because, as it turns out. I'm not cool. I look stupid when I wear their clothes and I don't really like all of their music, nor do I want to continue to act like I did 10 years ago, when I was a sophomore in high school. (So painful to realize it has been 10 years)
Yesterday morning, Brian met with a group of our students and asked them what criteria we should have for leaders. In other words, "what kind of adult leaders do you want as your volunteers, your small group leaders?" Believe it or not, they didn't care how cool we were, or what we looked like or how much money we made or what music we listened too. They said, "Just someone who cares."
In the last 3 years I have learned that all of the time, sweat, and frustration that goes into this thing is necessary so that we have the platform that allows us to offer a phone call, a smile, a pat on the back or a hug, or even a stinkin e-mail to a student who isn't really sure how many people they matter to. In order for us to teach them that they actually matter (quite a lot) to God, I have to prove through weekly meetings, 30 hour famines, all nighters, loud concerts and flour fights that they matter enough to me to do this every week.
And although I've questioned it myself at times, they absolutely do matter...more than enough.
I have done a lot of different stuff through churches and organizations over the years. Music stuff, guest relations stuff, women's ministry, print material, etc. Youth ministry is by far the most frustrating, the most challenging, the most laborious and the most time consuming (not to mention probably the scariest thing at times). But it is by far the most rewarding thing I could ever invest in. Bring on the Fall.
Young at Heart
Fiesta T-Shirt: $5 Dinner during Fiesta three nights in a row: $35Still feeling like you're on a date when you hang out with your spouse, and still being able to pick each other's noses in pictures: Priceless
Addendum to "Fall Anxiety"
How could I forget...the news that prompted the entire "Fall Anxiety" post and then got lost once I got distracted by apple pie. FALL TV!
Yes! In the fall all of our favorite TV shows return. Well, American Idol doesn't start until like January and our REAL favorite TV show, Friends, will never return to prime time (except in syndication on TBS), but there are some worth watching. My viewing has been sporadic at best in recent years because, as it turns out, real life and evening commitments have hindered my faithfulness to various networks. But considering that I will be home on Monday and Tuesday nights this fall, I will plan to resume watching
House faithfully on Tuesdays (FOX). It has moved from 9pm to 8 pm, which I am very excited about, and which leads me to believe that I'm not the only one who's gotten hooked on the show. I will most likely fall victim to the geniuses at Fox and stay seated from 9 to 10pm for the series premiere of
Standoff because I really liked Ron Livingston as Jack Berger in Sex and the City and he seems promising as an FBI negotiator.
I may also check out this new comedy
The Class on Mondays at 8 on CBS because I've heard rumors that it may fill that void Friends left in so many of our lives and even though other shows have tried and failed (and I don't believe anything could ever fill that void, which is why I usually watch Friends reruns on TBS on Mondays from 8-10 if I'm home), I am desperate enough to try.
Fall Anxiety
You know you all have it. You started to realize it back in June, when they prematurely took bathing suits off the racks in your favorite stores and replaced them with back to school clothes (e.g. stuff like leggings and off-the shoulder shirts, which we wore in the mid-eighties when our parents bought our clothes and we had little/no choice in the matter).
I have fall anxiety over more than retiring my vast collection of open-toed shoes. Fall means that I too go back to school...one night a week down at St Rose for my masters program. It also means that I am home less, think about work more, and eat more fast food. The track closes, the sun sets earlier, we can no longer grill every night, and all of these collectively bring on what has been officialy coined "
SAD" or seasonal affective disorder (no, I did not make that up).
So although I have been suffering from severe fall anxiety (I
did make that up) I have been trying to look on the bright side and consider those things I love about fall. Some of these are overwhelmingly obvious. Some subtle. All of them, however, are helping me overcome Fall Anxiety.
1.
Christmas. I love Christmas. I know Christmas isn't technically in fall but for me the anticipation of Christmas is good enough. This year will be the Howe family's 3rd annual custom Christmas card (what will we come up with this year?) and our 2nd annual Christmas party (it's the best party of the year I hear). Also, what Brian doesn't know is that this year I am going to begin putting up decorations the minute Halloween is over and I might even start playing Christmas music 2 weeks prior (all of this is well thought out). Consider also that in my new home I can completely rethink all of my Christmas decorations, purchase many more, and I have kind of already strategically mapped out a way to fit 5 Christmas trees in our townhouse :)
It's not just Christmas, it's the holidays in general. I love Thanksgiving too (and will be hosting my first Thanksgiving in our new home) and I even love New Years. I love the fact that even New Yorkers are a little bit happier about life during the holidays, and although they won't admit it, they like when there is a fresh blanket of snow on the ground if it's before January 1st (after January 1st, this completely changes).
2.
Wardrobe - Fall clothes rock. Tweed, wool, and even corduroy are all welcome additions to my wardrobe. Last week I bought a new pair of camel colored leather Guess pumps. They are beautiful, and I could buy them with zero guilt. Why? Because I needed them for fall, of course. Who can complain about that? Forget you open-toed shoes. I have my new pumps and I loooove them.
Note: I am of the persuasion that "back to school shopping" should be for everyone, and you should never get too old for it. It really helps with the fall anxiety.3.
Apple Pie - You can't make apple pie on the grill. And yet it's so delicious that it helps reduce my anxiety over cooking inside more. Not only is apple pie delicious, but it makes your whole house smell like the holidays, and I truly thing it's medicinal. Anytime you can eat something delicious with ice cream and still get a serving of fruit out of it, well that's just plain genius.
4.
Routine - I am so going to regret admitting this but summer is like vacation to me and I can only take so much. You know how you go on vacation and you come back tired because you did so much (well, you do if you're me, because you have such a rigorous itinerary for your vacation, but that's another post for another day)? Well that's kind of how this summer's been. Brian and I are having so much fun this summer, but I'm actually more whooped when the weekend's over than I was when it started. No more fun. I need structure, I need boring, I need routine. I need FALL!
Note: There is no doubt that I will be eating these words right around January 2nd.5.
Change - Fall is hands down my favorite season, Brian's too, because it's so stinking gorgeous. When you are fortunate enough to live where we do, you really get to see the beauty of fall, and get to marvel at the Adirondacks and the Berkshires and how awesome God is that every year the planet essentially dies and then comes back to life...that is so cool. And it does that by itself. And its really beautiful while it's "dying" (ok I know its not really dying but you know what I mean). I know that all of the seasons are beautiful but there is something magical about fall.
So that's that. I hope that I have in some way helped you also see your glass half full of delicious and fragrant hot apple cider, and that you will be able to reduce your fall anxiety by considering those things you love about Fall.
Daddy's Girl
Easter 1987? - family trip to NYC. Dad got us a real fancy limo. We watched cartoons in it.
Over the past few weeks, with all of the excitement of purchasing, fixing up and moving into our first home, I've been stopping even more than usual to think about my Dad. This is most likely because my Dad is the special occasion guy. Birthday, anniversary, holiday, graduation, chorus concert, or even just a Saturday...he's your man. He is always the guy with the Hilton Head hat on and the Blublocker sunglasses, smiling from ear to ear.
The image I have right now is him with a grill tool in one hand and a Dorito in the other, standing on the patio, yelling to me at the pool to do a canonball. The funny thing is, my dad did this long after I stopped doing cannonballs. By the time we moved out of our first house, my use of the pool had been reduced to laying beside it to improve my tan. While my sisters' usage was the same, he still insisted that we have a pool in our second house, for parties and family time, of course. So basically I was comatose with my friend Semira at the pool, soaking in the sun, and Dad was flipping burgers and trying to get us to actually go in the pool! His optimism never failed him.
So back to the special occasions...Brian and I were talking about what my dad would have been doing if he'd been there in the flesh on moving day. Here are a few of the things we came up with:
- He would have been the administrator of the move. That meaning, much like his father, he would have delegated to those of us who were moving large objects, and pointed out successes and faults. Not to say that he wouldn't have contributed, but the majority of his "contribution" would have been in the form of "supervision." Note: I would be at fault if I did not point out that I am truly my father's daughter, because although I did it to a lesser extreme, I think I actually filled this role on moving day! Like Daddy like daughter!
- He would have bought klondikes...in fact the fridge would have been overflowing with them by the end of the weekend, because he would have bought every single variation of klondike. Then he would have bought me an extra freezer for the garage; we always had an extra freezer in the garage growing up...to hold all of the Klondikes. On vacation, Klondikes were a must. They also made special appearances at any family gathering. This action is very representative of my Dad on a larger scale. Every day before he came home from work, he would call and if one of us girls picked up he would say "ask mom if she needs anything" and after a while, her only answer would be "just you." I thought this was incredibly sweet and romantic, but I later learned that she was strategically avoiding the tragedy that would ensue if she did need, say, milk or eggs. That being, he would buy an excessive amount of chips and ice cream, and she would have to buy yet another extra freezer for the garage. Note: Klondikes are now a staple in every Massey and Howe family vacation.
- He would have continuously pointed out how wonderful our house is. Anyone who has met my dad knows that he is a happy guy, but he is also a hopeless optimist and encourager. Not to say that our house isn't great, but there are definitely things that aren't perfect. If my dad had been there, I would not be aware of these things, because he would have occupied so much of my time pointing out all of the excellent features of the house, why they are so excellent, how they will make our lives more excellent, and how he wants to buy us another one...as a housewarming gift (he is also the gift guy). E.g. - "I love that leak behind your sliding glass door! It really looks like you are inside a submarine when it rains and creates a liquid wall which ends at your deck and creates a large spot of mold on the rotting wood. Doesn't the green color make you feel like you are in a tropical rainforest? You guys are so lucky to live in a rainforest!" Pretty tricky, but he is extremely good at turning lemons into lemonade.
Well this list could go on for some time, but suffice it to say that while I miss him daily, I am learning how much like him I really am, and how much of him is entwined in my daily life.
Cha-cha-cha FIESTA!
I think that there is a new, very secretive Masters program being offered throughout the United States entitled "Communication Strategies: Injecting small impressionable children with your propaganda" (or something of the sort). I say this because I have spent the greater part of this week at Northway's Vacation Bible School, more affectionately known as
Fiesta. Now, I don't consider myself particularly young or impressionable but every night after Fiesta, I find myself lying awake at night with visions of dancing bunny rabbits in colorful ponchos in my head, to the tune of such Fiesta classics as
"Never be the same" (click on the "Never be the same" music sample...you can be injected too).
My role has been to sing/dance the music at the opening and closing rally each night. Those of you who have ever attended any kind of Bible camp know that these rallies are largely characterized by people on stage continously prompting you to yell and scream as loud as you can, just because that is more fun than not yelling and screaming. Well, I am that person. I have been told that my performance thus far is reminiscent of mouseketeer
Annette Funicello. I don't really know who that is, but I do know that if you tell that to someone who does know her, they will say something along the lines of "I hate young people." I was hoping someone would point out the obvious parallel between me and Fergie when she was on Kids, Inc. This observation has not yet come to fruition. But all of that is besides the point.
Anyway, because of my particular vantagepoint each night, that is, being on stage and looking out at the crowd as opposed to the opposite, I have been pondering some ironies during my 2.5 hours break each night. These kids are young (entering Kindergarten through entering 6th grade) and this week we taught them about 6 songs...choreographed songs...with lots of words. I was extremely concerned that in the short time span of 3 nights they would not be able to grasp the songs or the motions, and that by the conclusion of Fiesta they would just be getting the hang of it. Au contraire.
This brings me back to my suspicions about the the "Communication Strategies" program. Simply put, the people who write these songs are geniuses...or utterly evil (I haven't decided which yet). These kids know EVERY word and EVERY action to EVERY song we sing. They know them better than I do. By the beginning of the second night all 200 people in the crowd were completely Fiesta-fied. Last night, as I looked out at the kaleidescope of sombreros and colored beads I found myself very appreciative that whoever authored these songs decided to use their power for good, not evil.
All joking aside, FIESTA has been a huge success, and we still have one more night. Many thanks to the volunteers (over 100 of them) who have spent the better part of their free time this week as crew coaches, activity coaches, camera persons, clean up crew, registrants, decoraters, etc so that 200 kids could learn that God loves them. We could not have done this without you.
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
It's true, they do. And me and my girls certainly did last weekend. Me, Colleen, Kelly and Niki have been unofficially referring to ourselves as the Fab Four since about 5th grade, when we all met in Sunday School. Even though I was chubby, had a hint of a mustache (maybe more than a hint), and rarely socialized, they bestowed their unconditional love on me and we have been Fab Four-ing ever since. Nikki (on the right) and I have actually been buds since Kindy-garten. And I must mention there are other members of the Fab Four who couldn't make it to our reunion weekend but we love them ALL. (yes, more than four...don't ask)
Anyways, up until college, Fab Four-ing was largely characterized by road trips in Nikki's convertible, sleepovers at my house, making lots of videos (which we continue to do, for our own entertainment) and generally embarassing ourselves in public. We all went our separate ways for college, and shortly thereafter I found myself following Kelly to Cedarville University for school, where we were together for a couple of years, and just a few hours' drive from Colleen (which came in handy when her now husband and her had a temporary break up and Kelly woke me up at 11 pm because we needed to drive to Indiana to see Colleen...all the while assuring me that I would be back for my 8 am class that next morning ?!?!).
Anyways, Fab Four ties don't break easily, and in the last 3 years, all four of the lovely ladies pictured were bridesmaids in eachothers' weddings. Although none of us would admit it, I think this was partially an effort to have an annual opportunity for us to all get dressed up, have a sleepover, dance, and embarass ourselves in public, much like we did in the days of our youth (like when Kelly and Colleen persuaded random guys, who I probably could not pick out of a line up now, to take other Fab Four members to their prom, since we went to different high schools). Anyways, this was the first year no one was getting married, and sometime this spring we realized that this summer held no Fab Four reunion. Perish the thought.
We quickly arranged a Fab Four Fun weekend at my new house, and Brian and I closed and moved in just in time for it. I won't bore you with the details (HA! like any of it was boring) but let's just say that I feel like we went back in time a little bit...the upstairs of my house reminded me of our cabin when we used to go to summer camp together...hair products, clothes and accessories strewn about and all of us trying eachother's clothes on. The weekend was pretty much a constant conversation from Friday night until Monday afternoon; I couldn't have asked for a better reunion!
When they left I found myself wondering why it is that when we get together, its like we're 15 again; like no time has passed and we all have no worries in life; like nothing has changed in the world and it pretty much revolves around whatever we might be doing at that particular moment. I have concluded that there is something unique that binds me and my girls. First of all, you just can't replace a history like that...15-20 years of hilarious memories, heartbreaks, setbacks and victories, all shared with the friends we love so much. I also realized that these girls are truly a rare breed. They are unparallelled in terms of how hilarious they are (hilarious to the power of 4 when we're all together), and all of the fun is balanced with great intelligence and sincere hearts for God.
I have been blessed with a lot of great friends at every walk of life, and I'm so glad that God has let me have these girls throughout my walks of life...I love you girls...FAB FOUR FOREVER! WE ARE YOUNG AND YOU ARE OLD...WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT?
Pudding Pops
I felt compelled to let everyone know that today I had a vanilla Jello pudding pop. It was glorious. Jello Pudding Pops came off the market for a good number of years but fortunately they were reintroduced to the marketplace last summer and must have done well because I enjoyed one this afternoon. I highly recommend vanilla. Don't be fooled by all the fancy swirls...simple is best.
